To LDS women: beware of kissing

“A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses.”Henry Louis Mencken

Apparently there is now scientific research that indicates that when a woman engages in kissing with a man, the hormone oxytocin is released in her body. Oxytocin is known as the “love drug” and causes a woman to bond with the man with whom she is kissing. It clouds her rational thought processes and affects her on an emotional level. Oxytocin bonding is very dangerous because regardless of the character of the man she is kissing, once the bonding takes place, she will be emotionally attached. She may find out later he has vices, is violent, is dishonest, is of another religion, or is incompatible in a multitude of ways with the standards she has set for the kind of man she wants, but due to oxytocin bonding, she may find it exceedingly difficult to break the relationship. After this chemical process occurs, and bonding is initiated, friends who see that the man is not right for her may tell her directly and point out the cons of the guy, but she will make excuses because “when I kiss him he makes me feel (fill in the blank).”

Ladies, the only way to keep your head straight so that you think rationally and choose the best man for you is to keep to a “no kissing plan.” Absolutely never kiss a man or boy before you have decided to marry him and are engaged to him. Only after you have made the decision that this is the man for you, should you kiss him, allowing oxytocin bonding to occur.

Just think of how much misery and heartache could be spared by just informing our daughters about the physiological response of their bodies when they kiss a boy, and counseling them to avoid it at all cost, until they are engaged. Virtually every relationship disaster, every immorality tragedy and every relationship disease can be avoided by this simple plan.

All men know the effect kissing has on women, but only until recently have scientists shown the link between kissing and the female hormone oxytocin. So, men, no, it isn’t your great kissing technique that makes a woman melt. When she decides, desires and initiates kissing with you, that hormone is released in her and she’ll melt, regardless of who you are, what you look like or how good or bad you are. Once she has experienced oxytocin bonding with you, she is yours.

This information should scare the daylights out of single and divorced women and parents of girls. Having boyfriends, meaning friends who are boys that you kiss, is dangerous ground to tread. If you don’t want to end up with someone who makes you miserable, but to whom you are oxytocin bonded, don’t ever kiss a man who isn’t your fiance or husband. Period.

For further information, click on the following link:

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  1. I dunno–I’m a 42 year old woman who kissed ten guys before she married 20 years ago. And though I don’t have regrets, I do mildly wish I had kissed those two or three other guys that I liked so well at the time.

  2. Thank you for a very accurate synopsis of my work. I appreciate you passing along the word!


    Flechelle Morin
    Dating to Marriage Consultant

  3. LMAO.

    I’m a 20 year old religiously-confused female and I’ve never kissed or been kissed because I believe that intimacies between people are very special and should be engaged in only when “the time is right”. I’m supposing that this ‘time’ will be whenever I feel comfortable enough. Sounds like I’m imtimately-confused too huh? 😐

    But anyway, thanks for the advice. It sure made me laugh.

  4. This is a joke, right?

    I’m totally laughing, either way. Thanks for the post.

  5. Horrible article.

  6. I tell my kids, “If you never start, you’ll never have to stop.” This works for everything that is dubious. Drinking, drugs, sex, and yes…kissing. Take away kissing and how many people would not have pre-marital sex? There’s a correlation here I think. Personally, I didn’t kiss my, not husband, until we kissed across the alter on our wedding day. It wasn’t painful or weird. It just kept our relationship to getting to know each other and our compatibility, without all the interruptions that can lead down bad roads. I don’t think our way is for everyone, but that is the guys hormones talking.

  7. Do said four kisses have to be on the lips? Because I would rather just kiss a girl four times on the cheek, but if I did that, I might be sitting around wondering why this oxytocin bonding didn’t happen.

  8. Men too can become victims of infatuation.

    Yes – kissing and petting can cause impaired judgment in both males & females – so beware of your passions. However, being frigid is no way to live either. Clearly living in a sexually unsatisfying relationship is not Heavenly Father’s plan for anyone.

    Married couples should be having lots of good healthy sex. Good sex is awesome and as I understand, it is totally cool with God. If we are all spiritual offspring of the same Heavenly Father; then golly heck, you do the math – there was/is a whole lot of kissing going on during the premortal existence.

    Therefore, I agree with the author of this article as far as keeping our judgments intact and not allowing passion and infatuation to impair our thinking. But, I warn the author and readers against being fearful prudes who go through married life sexual inhibited and unhappy. It is well worth the risk of stepping out of your safe legalistic cocoon to learn that there is a universe of fun, fantasy, discovery, creativity and fulfillment within your temple marriage.

  9. Good knowledge. I apreciate and enjoy things like this. GO ON ¡


  10. This is absolutely true. I am a professional in the field of Psychology and have studied neuro-science for many years. Oxytocin is 1 of the 7 neurotransmitters (chemicals) released in our brains. For those of you who think this is false, oxytocin is released even with touch. Research shows that if you have an arguement with your spouse before you go to sleep, if you have some part of your bodies touch while you sleep by the time you wake-up, your bodies will have “made-up” before you make-up verbally. VERY COOL! This chemical is great for married couples to stay together in committed relationships. However, it can be a nightmare for single females who become intimate with males who do not want commitment. If a single female is intimate with a male who does not want a committment, chances are, she will find herself stuck on him and he won’t reciprocate… UNLESS you are with a male who DOES want committment. This information is so powerful to know. I WISH I knew this when I was single. It would’ve helped me through alot of painful times. Food for thought 🙂

  11. Psychology professionals of this world disagree almost as much as the religious leaders disagree. Kissing LDS girls was awesome when I was a young single adult. I regret not kissing more of them. Today, I am fortunate that I married a physically beautiful woman who loves to kiss as much as I do – totally awesome.

    It would be my guess that of the wives in Brigham Young’s harem, the ones with the highest levels of oxytocin were his favorites.

    I am also guessing that many who prescribe to this way of thinking also make love with their temple garments on – through the holes.

  12. An article at NPR features oxytocin and its role in trusting — other people, your government, etc.

  13. This is crazy. We DO have control and we CAN see what a man is like and make a logical decision. It is possible to not be governed by the chemical released during kissing. I have heard this excuse dubbed “science” used again and again and again. I do not buy it. Not one bit.

    My only hope is that you are writing this ironically.

    What if you fell in love with someone, waited to kiss them, and then they turned out to be horrible kissers? That is a tragedy. Nope, I like to know by the second date what I’m dealing with. And all of my relationships have been healthy. If you’re an intelligent woman, you can figure this out AND enjoy kissing too. Lots and lots and lots of kissing.

  14. Stella:

    Thanks for bringing a woman’s perspective to LDSA’s post.

  15. Kissing technique does matter. If they’re a horrible kisser, I’m not likely to want to repeat the experience. All the oxytocin in the world isn’t going to make me bond with a bad kisser.

    Like Stella, I tend to kiss by the 2nd date, so I know what I’m dealing with.

  16. thats a lie

  17. Kissing is awesome. I cannot imagine life without girls to make out with. The anti-kissing trolls posting here, in my opinion, have just internalized a boatload of body shame. Whatever – I am wasting my time. How do I unsubscribe to this garbage anyway?

  18. why did u waste more of your time? you could have avoided any fraction of a second on this thread and quit complaining anyway.

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